This big fella spent Sunday morning courting the ladies — and running off rivals — right outside our door. I am ever thankful to experience such displays here in our Oregon home.
It’s been a rough week in these parts. Colleagues and friends have suffered profound losses. Oregon is in a “two week freeze” in an attempt to blunt a major spike in COVID-19 cases and hospitalizations, including here in Deschutes County. The blast radius of the coronavirus has crept uncomfortably close in recent days.
We had planned to trek over the Misty Mountains cold to share Thanksgiving with Ceili in Eugene and then spend a day at the Oregon Coast. Contact tracers informed her last week that she’d been in contact with a positive case. She tested negative and is entirely well, but she’s following the 14-day quarantine protocol, so we canceled our plans.
Our Thanksgiving has always been intimate — just the three of us. We haven’t had a big family Thanksgiving since we moved to Oregon in 1993. Nevertheless, it is a day replete with traditions, including peeling potatoes while watching the “What’s taters, Precious” scene from The Two Towers. Silly, fun stuff, but meaningful.
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew…
As a friend, who has had an exceptionally punishing 2020, reminds us: Thanksgiving is just a date on a calendar. We’ll celebrate later, with enthusiasm undiminished.
*
There is a grim and unsettling Shadow over the land. Our path is dim as we navigate through a mirkwood, among an array of choices that on all sides threaten fearsome potentialities. The effort to stem loss from disease means loss of livelihood for some and for some friends the real possibility of losing businesses that they have built from scratch as a labor of love. It is no fringe notion that our liberty is at risk as much as our health. Oregon’s Governor, who has been acting since March under a state of emergency that apparently knows no sunset or check, has crossed a line by dictating who we can have in our homes, under the threat of law enforcement action.
On a broader plain, the Republic continues to self-immolate on a pyre of toxic partisanship, conspiracy theory, personality cults and rank hypocrisy.
Yes, there looms a Shadow. And yet…
There remains much to be thankful for in this season of Thanksgiving.
*
I am deeply grateful for the wisdom and perception of friends. An old friend of mine, who has come to my side repeatedly through the wild vicissitudes of a quarter century of life, perceived a darkness in my outlook in recent weeks and queried me intensely about it. I recoiled from his perception, as one does. After all, there are troubles and trials in higher degree than usual this year — who is not susceptible to falling into a bit of a funk now and then? I’m fine.
But this man is … tenacious… and he perceived something more existential at play. Ultimately I was forced to step back and take stock — and it turns out he’s right. I have had my foundations shaken a bit.
Over a lifetime that now compasses 55 years, I have built all my work and passion around telling true stories: determining the facts of a matter, analyzing and interpreting those facts and seeking to find truth in their context, then presenting that truth as vividly and compellingly as I can. It’s work I love and work to which I have attached a powerful sense of personal identity. The world does not seem to value that at all anymore. Absolute bullshit is trumpeted across the land, and taken with greater credence than any carefully crafted effort to seek truth and portray it.
Where careful work has no more value — perhaps less — in the marketplace of ideas than casually tossed off crap, what does it profit a man to pursue this path?
Without consciously recognizing it, I had begun to question whether what I do — professionally, through Running Iron Report and here at Frontier Partisans — is worthwhile, whether it has any meaning at all. That is, of course, toxic, self-defeating and self-destructive thinking. It is tantamount to taking a sledgehammer to the rock you stand on. In the first place, it’s just not true. I get plenty of feedback in all arenas that people value the work. Allowing their voices — your voices — to be drowned out by a cacophony of cultural flatulence is a grave disservice to you. And, as Marilyn wisely pointed out, I do what I do for the doing of it. Where it lands in the turning and turning of the widening gyre is beyond my ability to influence — and it’s not especially relevant.
As is often the case, simply recognizing the presence of Shadow and identifying its nature has helped to banish it. As we know, it is never destroyed, and we must remain vigilant as it will always take new shape and rise again. But I am feeling lighter, swifter and stronger now than I was a few days ago, when I was laboring under it all unawares.
And for that, I give thanks.
*
*
I am also grateful that I am able to stay physically active. A Frontier Partisan Biathlon is always a tonic, especially on a crisp, clear, beautiful day. I did mention that I am 55… so I have to quell my natural impatience and take some considerable time to warm up thoroughly for a 28-degree workout. But my gym is never closed down, and gunpowder and iron chase the blues. 
So does a 3.5-hour session behind the mic. I have almost completed the “Mountain Man” episode of Series I of the Frontier Partisans Podcast, exploring the life and legacy of Kit Carson. (Fear not, it’s not a 3.5-hour episode. Most of that time is the iceberg under the water. That background time will compress as I gain facility with the software. I am finding, though, that, overall, the time and work investment on the podcast is about equivalent to writing a book).
My goal was to have several episodes in the can before launching, so that if and when the full-time job and other responsibilities take precedence, I’m not scrambling to keep the podcast current. With this second, beefy episode completed, I’ll be a couple of weeks ahead of the curve and I think I’ll feel comfortable launching. That means possibly within a few days; certainly before the end of the month — long as the creek don’t rise.
Thankful for your support, and any purchase of trade goods or contribution through GoFundMe continues to be most welcome.
*
Coming soon… The Frontier Partisans Podcast.
Paul McNamee says
It’s a dark time. World wide, with the pandemic. On the national stage, the reality t.v. special live from Washington D.C. that never ends.
Rather than depressed, I found myself getting angry. Like, good and angry. Like, I thought things over the past four years had angered me but they’d only irked me — until now.
Pile the impotence of not being able to control what you can’t control… it’s a cocktail, all right.
Took a few breaths. Saw some examples to emulate.
Ignoring the clown show and focusing on what’s needed. Writing has been fits and starts and stops this year but I’m knuckling down on my latest short story (longish, 15K) and by gods I’ll see it finished by month’s end. (helps that I owe it to someone. for me, deadlines are a good thing as long as I’m not going to the wire.)
But hey. I’ve wanted a “sit on my ass and do NOTHING, four day Thanksgiving weekend” for quite a few years running. Meaning, not driving around to visit extended family. Not that I don’t enjoy seeing them. Sometimes, I just get insular. Last year came close. We did not travel but the in-laws did come our way. Which ends up with one stressful day of cooking and whatever. (disclaimer: I get on fine with my in-laws .. it’s just the social aspect of playing host and that’s on me.)
So, anyway. I’ll be getting that this year. Just us. Of course, I’d gladly trade it back for normalcy. But, it’s here and I will leverage it. Lots of reading, some movie watching, and hopefully lots of writing.
Keep doing what you do. Truth is truth is Truth. It might get strained but it bounces back.
JimC says
Thank you Paul. You’ve been a good shieldwall mate for many years now, and I appreciate it.
Matthew says
It’s definitely been a WEIRD year. There’s a Fritz Leiber story called Coming Attraction about America after a nuclear war where it has become mandatory for everyone (or at least the women) to wear a mask. I think about that story a lot.
As for what you do, I’ve come to believe that to do your job and do it well makes the world a better place. At very least, I think your podcast will give listeners a hour or so of thinking about something else than the mess we are in. Maybe even it will given them some catharsis. So I look forward to it.
It could also be worse. I happened to be listening to a podcast from a defector from North Korea, who was sold into sex slavery in China, and eventually escaped to America. It’s pretty harrowing, but it does put our troubles in perspective. At least, until she talks about the growth in authoritarianism here with cancel culture et al.
JimC says
I’ll say.
Keith West says
Do Not Stop Writing! While I don’t comment as much these days due to Real Life, this blog and Running Iron are two things I’m thankful for.
JimC says
Thank you Keith. I will, as Lone Watie said in Josey Wales, “Endeavor to persevere.”
Allan Godsiff says
Would have been worth the read if the only thing to be got out of it was the term ” cultural flatulence ” but a lot of good meat in there as well. At times I think we all question what we do and why we do it. If you are convinced there is value in what you do that is enough IMO.
I have only recently discovered the “what you do ” outside the Nugget and I value it much. Keep on keeping on !
JimC says
Thank you Allan. Very much.
Melodious Thunk says
Well Jim if you can write like you do above I say you are fighting fit.
Thanks to your tenacious friend for being there.
It it so true, recognizing that shadow for what it is, is most the battle won.
Make “art” stay “true” there is nothing else.
JimC says
Thank you. Much appreciated.
Quixotic Mainer says
Right now the dark side is pretty strong in the zeitgeist, and the vast majority are being appealed to by the worst of the electronic angels on their shoulders. It’s more important than ever to carry that torch and bring everyone who wants to listen out of from the spider infested gloom. Good scouts are more necessary than ever.
JimC says
Reckon so.
J.F. Bell says
For one reason or another, I’ve never been a big fan of Thanksgiving. This may result from having a family that wasn’t all that cohesive to begin and which has not appreciably coalesced over the years. Deaths and dispersion seldom do much for clan unity.
Part may be that Thanksgiving always came across as a through-going New England holiday, with no part of my people having a footprint north of Virginia and none arriving until some twenty years later and thereafter keeping comfortably below the Mason-Dixon. My blood runs to other points of the compass, to the summons of different marching songs. Thanksgiving is an American holiday, yes, but not of my America.
The drift is perhaps more apparent in our present circumstance. For most of my nominal adult life, half the country being pissed and up in arms has been the way of things. Having both halves muttering threats in the shadows at once is new, if not novel. The knives have not yet come out on the broader canvas… but the whetstones and sharpening wheels have. The badgers are restless.
Writing helps. If not an escape, it puts the sewage fire in perspective. This is new to some of America, old hat to much of the world, and standard operating procedure for the human animal. The nature of man is a rude surprise to those fed from birth on the dreams of progress and prosperity and shining cities on distant hills.
Respites are few. Small, distant camps across the breadth of the wilderness rife with predators of two legs or four. A lean-to here, a cave there, now and again a crossroads trading post or a coach house. Not much, maybe, but a place by the fire out of the wind and the cold.
What’s left? Clean your rifle, count your cartridges, and be ready to move when the weather breaks. If you don’t find your friends at this stop, perhaps the next.
For better or worse, regardless of circumstance or trapping, we’ll be as we have always been.
JimC says
Thank you as always for your writing.
This right here could have come from the pen of Robert E. Howard or Cormac McCarthy:
J.F. Bell says
Couldn’t do it without the campfire, brother. There is a value beyond human measure in the company of kindred spirits.
I am compelled to ask…is it strange to build an outlook from fictional character of one’s own creation? The introspective half of Mister Wolfe has been uncommonly active in the latter half of this year.
Small victories still go down as victories in the grand ledger, I suppose.
JimC says
The only way I can answer that is to note that Marilyn and I have had some really fantastic conversations around the natures and outlooks of Black Sails’ versions of Captain James Flint and Long John Silver — treating them as entirely real. I would think that engaging thus with your own creation would be profoundly satisfying — and must inevitably deepen the characterization, too.
Quixotic Mainer says
Reminds me of the old Conan quote-
Barbarism is the natural state of mankind. Civilization is unnatural. It is a whim of circumstance. And barbarism must always ultimately triumph.
R.E Howard
David Wrolson says
Hopefully to cheer you up a little bit. I mention every once in awhile to the kids (especially my 19 YO Daughter) that FP showed me I wasn’t alone in the world.
There are people roughly like me out there.
My Gawd-where else can I say, in regards to a purchase from jSTOR, that “I am a big Yanktonai guy” and have it be understood and taken seriously? LOL.
BTW-either “Sporting Classics” or “Gray’s Sporting Journal” had an article about the 3 most important associations in a man’s life.
1) A woman
2) Books
3) Guns
I am glad they put books above guns.
JimC says
Thank you David. Most gratifying.
Melodious Thunk says
Plant a tree, father a child, write a book, who was it …..Jose Marti, …The Talmud?
Mike says
Keep up the good work. I followed the site for several years, eagerly awaiting new posts and thinking “Ain’t it grand to have found people with so many similar interests?” But it was when I read the ‘There Are Always More Wolves’ post regarding the “Northern Thing” that I knew I’d truly found my kind of people. If I recall correctly, a wise man said there that “you struggle anyway because there is value in the struggle.” Fight the good fight, hombre. You’ve got it in you.
JimC says
Thank you, Mike. You’re right… that “Northern Thing” takes no account of (perceived) futility. We persevere.
Greg Walker says
I had wondered what may have been distressing you, Jim.
From “FPL – Protocols for Warfighters” –
“We overcome what we overcome when we coalesce as a group, motivate each other with accountability and share information about what works. It works. It still works.”
Frontier Partisans is a group, a group you created, generated, and sustain with thoughtful writing, hard-earned wisdom, and a dash of sly humor.
Thanksgiving is an inviolate privilege we enjoy and one that no entity or individual can take away from us. Celebrate it this year as warmly and well as you (and I) would any other year – with joy, humble memories, communication with those we love however we might establish it, and in the knowledge being thankful cannot be controlled by anyone other than ourselves.
In the meantime, keep your powder dry…your blade sharpened…and your eyes on the horizon, Hermano.
JimC says
Thank you my friend.
JimC says
Yeah, Oregonians have the same thing.
Nicholas Iverson says
I simply would like to express my gratitude for the honesty in which you convey your dark feelings and doubts. I recently had an interaction with a friend that did not want to express such intimate feelings for fear of being viewed as weak or “playing the victim”. My response was that going within and facing and honestly expressing these darker feelings and emotions is not weakness, it is in fact the complete opposite. It is a sign of great strength and an iron constitution and I appreciate the fact that you have communicated this so openly, as it assists me in acknowledging and facing my own darkness, for as you say, “simply recognizing the presence of Shadow and identifying its nature has helped to banish it.” Your writings and this site is amongst those things that I am thankful for this season.
JimC says
Thank you very much for this Nicholas. It means a great deal.
Buzz says
I bought a Horse and realized the world looks much better between her ears!
JimC says
Well, of that there is no doubt. Like Churchill supposedly said, “The outside of a horse is good for the inside of a man.”