Frontier Partisans

The Adventurers, Rangers and Scouts Who Fought the Battles of Empire

Santa Packs a Walker Colt

November 9, 2020, by JimC

’Tis early for Yuletide musings, but the culture has forced my hand. No, no, it’s not that the stores have already given over my beloved pumpkin spice for Christmas treats and decor — I can ignore that. I’ve stocked up on pumpkin spice, same as I have on ammo. So I’m good.

But… the trailer for Fatman has dropped.

It’s probably nothing to be proud of, but I think I’m the target audience for this movie. Mel Gibson has given himself over to the batshit crazy, high-mileage true wild man that he is. Yes, the Fatman is Chris Cringle. Santa Claus. And Boyd Crowder Walt Goggins Skinny Man is hunting him in a film the creators describe as:

“A superhero film wrapped in a thriller dipped in Western and sprinkled with satire.”

Yeah, of course I’m in. Especially given the fact that Santa packs a Walker Colt. Yes, he does.

*

Longtime readers know that I love Christmas and Santa and all that — just not the bland, safe Empire-of-Nothing version. I want the Old, Weird Santa — the pagan, folkloric wild man coming out of the Germanic forests like Odin leading the Wild Hunt.

And who better than Mad Mel to bring that figure of legend into the 21st Century?

*

A few years back, a comic writer named Grant Morrison produced a saga called Klaus that takes the “jolly old elf” back to the dark and dangerous woods from whence he sprang. Some critic slagged off on it, dismissing it as “psychedelic Yule-Conan.” Which, by Crom, just makes me want to pick it up this year.

*

There’s a whole genre of “Badass Santa” art to be found out there in the tangled mire of the interwebs. Some of it is pretty damn compelling. I mean, don’t you want to know THIS old man’s story?

And, truly, “Badass Santa” is more in keeping with the old magic of Christmas, and more in keeping with these strange, turbulent times, where malevolent spirits stalk our world. Badass Santa hearkens back to the weird and wild Germanic taproot of an unkempt, interesting — and  noble — Tannenbaum far superior to the perfect, symmetrical product of some tree farm.

Here’s to the Fatman and his Walker Colt and to all the Wild Santas out there. We need you.

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Comments

  1. Matthew says

    November 9, 2020 at 5:14 pm

    I have a love/hate relationship with Morrison’s work. (As I do with Garth Ennis and Warren Ellis.) A lot of his work like Doom Patrol is brillantly weird, but a lot is just plain crazy. As is Morrison who practices chaos magick and claimed to have been abducted by aliens.

    The badass Santa thing is a lot bigger than people think. There’s a comic called Badger, about a superhero with multiple personality disorder, has the character meet Santa who was basically a biker. There is also Roads by Seabury Quinn which deuce recommended over at DMRbooks

    https://dmrbooks.com/test-blog/2017/12/24/roads-by-seabury-quinn

    Reply
    • deuce says

      November 10, 2020 at 5:07 pm

      Thanks for the shout-out, Matthew! However, 2yrs later to the day, I revealed that JACK PALANCE was the owner of an Arkham House copy of ROADS for sixty years:

      https://dmrbooks.com/test-blog/2019/12/24/seabury-quinn-50-years-gone

      How about THAT, Jim? It was good enough for Palance.

      Reply
      • Matthew says

        November 10, 2020 at 6:56 pm

        Jack Palance, huh.

        Reply
  2. Fletcher A. Vredenburgh says

    November 9, 2020 at 5:19 pm

    Man, this looks fun! Reminds me I’ve been wanting to read Seabury Quinn’s Roads. It’s about a gladiator becoming Santa.

    Reply
  3. Melodious Thunk says

    November 9, 2020 at 6:03 pm

    Revisionist continuity and persistence, I get it, I dig it.

    Reply
  4. Padre says

    November 10, 2020 at 11:15 pm

    My wife and I had no clue what Fatman was about when we first saw the trailer. We agreed that we have never been caught more offguard by a movie trailer as this one. She said, “Boyd Crowder tries to kill Santa!?! What could be better?”

    And even the Christian version of Santa is a bad ass. Saint Nicholas rescued children from human trafficking. And he walked across the floor of the Council of Nicea to deck the heretic Arius. All of which contributed to a popular St. Nick meme that reads, “I came to give presents to children and punch heretics in the mouth. And I’m all out of presents.”

    Reply
    • JimC says

      November 11, 2020 at 6:17 am

      And even the Christian version of Santa is a bad ass. Saint Nicholas rescued children from human trafficking. And he walked across the floor of the Council of Nicea to deck the heretic Arius. All of which contributed to a popular St. Nick meme that reads, “I came to give presents to children and punch heretics in the mouth. And I’m all out of presents.”

      You are quite right, Padre. I think it’s Victorian tweeness and 20th century commercialism that conspired to make him a pale shadow of himself.

      Reply
      • Matthew says

        November 11, 2020 at 7:31 am

        Victorian Tweeness… Those Victorians made fairys which in the original folklore where sinister shapeshifters into little people with wings. Angels, which in the Old Testament are described in almost Lovecraftian terms, became babies with wings.

        Reply
  5. H.P. @ Hillbilly Highways says

    November 15, 2020 at 7:37 am

    Did you read Brom’s Krampus book? He did some great BA Santa art to go along with that one.

    https://hillbillyhighways.wordpress.com/2018/11/28/sf-krampus-the-yule-lord-by-brom/

    Reply
    • JimC says

      November 15, 2020 at 8:07 am

      I did, last year, and enjoyed it — I liked the Shawnee belschnikle angle. The art is fantastic in both senses of the word.

      Reply
  6. John E. Boyle says

    December 1, 2020 at 8:34 pm

    Santa Claus with a Walker Colt? This I have to see.

    Reply
    • JimC says

      December 1, 2020 at 8:58 pm

      Right? On the strength of that alone. Plus… Walt Goggins.

      Reply
  7. Aaron says

    December 18, 2020 at 10:11 pm

    Just got done watching it. Great film to add to the list of Christmas movies to watch every year.

    Krampus
    Christmas Story
    National lampoons Christmas vacation
    Scroogged
    The ref
    Trading places

    Reply

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